After doing some searching and opening up to the reality of our loss we realize that we are in a good place and that the next "stage" of moving through our greif is upon us.
Also, after talking with Pierce... ... who the other day while we were talking about Lucas asked, "Momma, are you sad?" the conversation went like this:
Pierce: Momma, are you sad?
Me: Yes, I miss Lucas.... ... you remember Lucas, your brother... ...
Pierce: Yes mom, where is he?
Me: You know ... ...
Pierce: He's with Jesus!
Me: That's right
Pierce: Momma, I can make you happy!
Me: Yes you sure can!!
Then tonight while sitting with Blake:
Pierce: Dad, momma's sad
Blake: Yes, but that's ok
Pierce: We'll make her happy.
Blake: Yes we will, your right
Anyway after finding a link on stages of grief and sharing it with a few via e-mail, my sister-in-law, Karri, sent me this that is a wonderful explaination as well:
“At one time or another the emptiness comes. Know this space. It may be with you for a time and it may be one of the most important spaces in your life. It is in this quiet after the outward grieving that the seeds of your new life begin to grow. Some call this emptiness the ‘dark side of the soul’. You’ve let go of something precious and familiar and the new meaning is not yet known. It takes a lot of courage to live in this emptiness. Just be with it. Pay attention to what is trying to grow-new qualities or ways of being, new ideas about work—whatever. There is an old Zen saying, ‘You can’t fill a teacup that is already full.’ If we allow the emptiness we can move to a new fullness. You have a choice with this time. You can use this quiet space instead of it using you. Catch up on sleep. Take long walks. Work with the earth. When our hearts break, they break open making more room for everybody and everything—more love, more joy, more compassion. We can stay open to loneliness and pain knowing it is moving us to a new fullness OR we can shut down. A heart that is broken open doesn’t close unless we close it. One can’t have others think or feel this out for us. One must do the work for oneself. There are no short cuts. You cannot go around—you can only go through it.”
May grief fill your soul and mend your broken heart again.
Here is the link to the seven stages of grief that helped me make sense of where we are:
Interesting that it says "It actually is normal and expected for you to be very depressed and sad eight months later." Well, that is where we are here eight months later... ...
Moving forward and looking forward to the "upward turn"