Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Happy Holidays!!!!!!

Christmas is in the air!!!!
This time of year it is so much easier to have the warm fuzzes all over...the chilly weather, breaking out the warm coats, hats and gloves; snuggle up by a fire and just listen to the crackle and pop sounds with family and friends we love so much..True it is one of the busiest times of the year for us all, but finding the time to maybe reach out to family we haven't been close to in years, even neighbors or coworkers~we all crave a little kindness this time of year.
For the Weindorf household, we are so excited for our newest son Bryce to have his first Christmas!!! He is 9 months old now and is so smart and strong. Pierce is an amazing big brother and ready to teach Bryce the ropes...
I really don't know where to begin with this year and changes God has brought us. I am so thankful that God only allows us to see parts of the tapestry of life b/c there is no way we could take it all in at once...I am home with Bryce and working part-time here as well, pierce now in kindergarten and doing so well, Blake engineering still and we feel the turning of the tide in our family has been taking place all year long!
We hope with all our heart that all of you have a magical and peaceful Christmas this year!!! Know that as i am writing to update everyone, you are in our thoughts and prayers and send you love and kindness your way!
As i am ending this post for the evening i would like to speak to our CHARGE families around the world that are still keeping in touch. Just this Monday Blake and I started to feel the loss in our heart for Lucas, it is so strange that it sneaks up on you when you least expect it..something as simple as a silly hallmark movie, a song on the radio driving to work, a simple look that Bryce will give you and it reopens those pieces of our heart that we keep hidden and protected..i took a long calming cry as well as calling Blake and realizing that he did to on the same day at different time, but God knew we needed that release it seems..it never gets easier to me, and i am not even sure that time heals all wounds....i believe the wound becomes a part of you..and changes you forever; it is a reservoir within to keep you going on those dry days, i can reach down and find strength to move myself from that lonely place and get to a peace again...
Lucas, my song and heartbeat live on because of you..you were and are the living testimony of unconditional love and determination to conquer everything impossible in this life! I love that i can close my eyes when there is a need for a reality check, i find you in that place and instead of not breathing like before, you actually give me breath and purpose for living and moving on!!! You are remembered and held this Christmas my darling.....see you soon
Love,
Mommy,Daddy,Pierce and Bryce
December~2011












Monday, October 24, 2011

Life is Busy,

Hope this update finds everyone well and in good spirits! This year is fast approaching the end and we can not believe it! Since March and birth of our baby Bryce, our lives have been onthe fast forward button...Bryce is the best baby ever! It is like our pediatrician Dr. Weed said during his 6 month check up~He thinks God knew we needed a him, and gave us such a healthy and happy little man. Pierce is brilliant and doing wonderful in kindergarten and parent teacher conference went so well..he is growing up so fast as i am sure everyone else's kiddos are. Bryce is 7 months and is cutting his 3rd tooth, that is pretty fast to me. He is strong minded and has a beautiful spirit. We are exspecting him to crawl anyday now as well.
Blake and i are doing great and really our lives have never been so closely knit and happy...through all things in the last four years of life..i can finally say that little pieces of my soul are starting to come back if that makes since?. Areas in my heart that i thought could never be touched or uncovered again have seen some light and fresh hope in which were many dark and lonely places. There is an incredible bond between pierce and bryce and it is very neat to just watch how they communicate. Pierce is totally consumed with being the big brother. Anytime Bryce is upset he is racing to his rescue as though he knows what he needs. Bryce adores listening to Pierce, he finds him very funny and trusting.
As the Holidays are fast coming i can truly say we are so very excited and blessed to experience family and traditions we both have had with Bryce and just watch God continue to gel us together.. Hope you enjoy this update with pictures that are so cute and a video that is priceless!!

Pictures and Funny Video





















Never thought sweeping the floor could be so funny!!!!

video

Monday, June 27, 2011









HE IS SUCH A HANDSOME LIL MAN!!!!
PIERCE AND BEN HAD A BLAST THE ENTIRE TRIP!!











8TH TIME SEEING KEITH URBAN, AND WAS INCREDIBLE!!!!!




2011 KEITH URBAN "GET CLOSER"

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

In Honor of Lucas; He would have been 4 today...

To help celebrate his Birthday; his cousin is hosting a Change Angel Fundraiser in his honor for Arkansas Children's Hospital. If you can make it we will be at the Hurricane Lake Estates Pavilon this Sunday; the 15th, at 2PM. If you can make it or if you can't and still would like to donate please e-mail Katelyn at changeangelkk@gmail.com






5/10/072/11/08 8/7/08


10/1/08
WE SURE MISS YOU!!!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Waiting........





After Bryce was born, we were all placed on the post par tum unit together. Misty had a separate room about 4 doors down from us. Bryce was doing beautifully with us. He was eating great and sleeping around 4-5 hours at a time in the evenings. Misty was recovering so fast, i have never seen anything like this with a c/section post op..Misty was walking around within 24 hours after delivery and no pain meds. Lord, i remember with both of my c/sections, i was on a morphine pump and in the hospital for 4d. Misty at first had decided she didn't want to hold or see the baby..

After he was here, i got a phone call from her asking if it would be alright to see Bryce and hold him for awhile. Now Misty knew me well enough that i was freaking out to some degree, because of fear of changing her mind. We were still in the 48 hour window of changing things, so yes i was a little anxious, OK alot anxious. So of course we said ok to Misty, i took Bryce to her and left her room and went back to ours with Blake. i started crying immediately with my mind running away with thoughts that were so panicking!!! Blake looked at me and said, "honey, God is in control, let it go". Slowly i did let go and things went very smoothly. Misty even came over i think it was the Saturday night, to our room. Blake bought us all pizza and we watched a movie together. It was very awesome. i wish you could have all seen Misty and i in the hospital bed together with Bryce b/t us. Two mothers loving on this baby boy at the same time. Misty and i were bonding on a level that i cant even put into words..it is a GOD thing. We respected one another so highly, it boggles my mind even today to write to you all about it. Misty said her goodbye and peace to Bryce officially on Saturday Night.

Sunday came and signing of the papers was to be done at 10:00am! So Blake took our notary and witness to Misty's room, while Bryce and i waited patiently in our room.

Next thing i know, here came Misty walking into my room only 15 or so minutes later...and she just wanted to say goodbye to me..

Y'all have to picture this, a 5.11' women total embracing me, a 5.2' woman and we started weeping together as friends, and mothers..This was one of the most precious and unforgettable times in my life. We said we loved one another and promised to stay in touch and never stop praying!!!

Shortly after that, we loaded up the truck and headed to Fort Worth, TX where were going to stay for the remainder of the paperwork process...5 more days

We were staying with some wonderful friends of ours! We received to official phone call to go home on Friday and that we had been cleared and everything went smooth!

We didn't go home until after church Sunday..Blake and i got a opportunity to share our story about Lucas, then Bryce and they let me sing a song about it all! it was wonderful!

Well there it all is everyone! Here we are 3 weeks old now and he is just perfect! Misty is doing great, we still talk from time to time...Pierce is the greatest big brother ever!

Blake and i are happier than we have ever been in our entire marriage. Anyone who knows me even a little bit, knows that i love to take risk and i love change..but i will tell you this about change these days...

I believe that Change can be so constant that we don't even feel it until you realize you ARE. also Change can move so slowly that you don't know if your life is better or worse until it simply IS. Or now i believe and have seen that Change can BLOW YOU AWAY all at once and change you in an instance.

Anyone of us are afraid of loosing our balance in life, especially when change is involved and mostly when LOVE has anything to do with it..but it is important to look around and remember that it is worth loosing your balance in loving again, b/c it makes you FIND a new balance you never had before!!!

I plan on writing a book very soon on this journey of ours. i would covet your prayers on that, because it IS going to happen!!

I want to thank each one of you personally for being our friends, our support and loving us all through these last 3 years. You are very much a part of our lives and the healing that has taken place, we will never stop thinking about it all. I will continue to write and blog every single day from now on until i feel it is time to put the pen down...There is still so much that has not been told....so move on with me guys and get ready for the greatest days we have ahead of us all.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

THE BIG DAY!!!!!!!






We picked Misty up from home early Friday morning and headed to the hospital!! We got to our room together and there of coarse you know they hooked Misty up with IV's, and monitors and started prep work for the c/section. I will never forget when Misty showed us all her tummy. The night before, she was bored and decided to get a marker and draw a map on her tummy to show us and the doctors exactly where Bryce was! it was so stinkin funny, it made everyone laugh!! There was a few times it was just Misty and I in the room together, and we were just talking about our lives and this story. We were talking on fears again, and misty sort of started to break down with what she wanted to say...and it was the fear of having Bryce for us and something being wrong with him at birth! Because of what we had been through with Lucas at birth, thinking he was perfect and then him coming out with so many issues wrong, misty just didn't think she would recover from it if this happened again. i just balled my eyes out b/c of her selflessness once again, putting our feelings ahead of her own. just amazing.

So they wheeled misty into the delivery room, she got her epidural, and they gave me scrubs and i sat outside the room while they finished getting Misty stable and ready for delivery. I remember just sitting in that chair so nervous for her. I couldn't keep my legs still if i tried. Doctor and nurses kept coming through and would stop and say to me, "Are you M.K., are you mommy?" i said yes i am, and they were all so excited for us! Then it was time! so they called me into the room and i wanted to sit behind the sheeting, right by Misty...She was peacefully in thought and at rest, so i didn't disturb her at all; i just sat with anticipation and prayed for Misty, myself, Bryce, the whole staff.....that this would all be such an amazing experience and we would never ever forget it as long as we lived!! I closed my eyes trying to escape and imagine where Misty was in her mind and what she was thinking...she and i were so connected like that, it was scary! The doctors kept me updated in telling me that he was almost here and that it was going perfect so far. Then three of the nurses moved to the incubator and began prepping it more, so i knew he was here. the moment his head was free and out to breathe he cried, it was the most heavenly sound i ever heard, i can not explain what took place inside of me when i heard his cry...something like an impartation inside, the bond was instant!! When i knew he was here, i bent my head down on top of Misty's and kissed her forehead. I just left my face and mouth on top of her her head and my tears fell on her face, it was once again the most meaningful time in my life and in this journey. Misty had requested that i be the first to hold Bryce after birth, so they honored this. Bryce went to the incubator to be cleaned and they let me help them, and i cut the cord...i could barely hold the scissors cause all i wanted was to hold him, pull him close to me! He was so beautiful. We all turned around and looked at Misty and told her the he was doing great and perfect! So they handed him to me all wrapped up and we headed to the post par tum room where my hubby and best friend is. when i saw Blake, my knees started to buckle, the look on Blake's face was so pure and full of fulfillment! Joy and connection that we hadn't known in two years. He was ours and we were just thrilled to have him in our arms.

Misty was in recovery and doing incredible before we knew it! She is a machine at healing so fast and so positive!! Tomorrow begins the last 48 hours together. stay tuned you won't want to miss the end of this!!!!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

HEADING FOR A BETTER LIFE


Day 4~ Year 2011' for us! Everyone is still doing great, our relationship with Misty and Bryce is growing stronger still. I have to tell you all something i am just remembering about this remarkable woman. It would be just a normal day like today, she would text me to tell me about Bryce and that he is moving alot and poking her ribs, or that he moved all night long..etc. THIS WAS EVERYDAY!!!

Ok back to the story, so i am going to move on into March....it is official! We are all nervous and ready for the big day to be here. I get a phone call from Misty as normal on her appointment day, and she tells me that the doctors want to do an amniocentesis! Their reason was that when women normally get a ultrasound at 19-20 weeks for finding out sex of the child and confirmation of due date, Misty went in around 23 weeks or so...and that is a long enough window that the beginning date and 23 week measurements and date could be construde, and that Bryce may not be as far along as we all think. So i start thinking cause i am a medical assistant as a OBGYN clinic...been in this field for a long time, and i have never heard of this before. ohh by the way, they were going to schedule the ANMIO the morning before the C-section and if lungs are fully mature then c-section the next morning! So i went into work and long story short, YES this is protocol if there is any doubt that dates can be off, plus this was an adoption, and an elective c-section. so it was a go now for the amnio on March 17th, then Bryce on March 18th!

Blake and i did NOT want Misty to do the amnio by herself, so we left Arkansas on Wed. March 16th..picked her up Thursday morning early and took her to the appt..The amnio went beautifully! then we had to hang around for another hour for observation for Misty and Bryce on the NST machine..

Misty and i were alone talking in a cozy little room, and the most peaceful breeze came in that room for the both of us. We were having one of our many last honest talks about where we are in the process. Misty was telling how she just wished with every fiber of her being that things had turned out differently for her w/the baby, the babies dad, her heartache for her son Evan, and wishing she had given him a voice in this decision.....just tears flowing down our faces together, realizing this was the greatest experience she and i had ever gone through and that we would be mothers and friends for life. I think Misty and i should write a book called "AWEKWARD MOMENTS" !! We have had our share of these. Well after what was already an exhausting morning and early afternoon, we took Misty home to rest and prepare for tomorrow, and we went to rest as well....stay tuned tomorrow morning for the greatest day and best parts of this journey yet guys! You dont want to miss it!!!!

Lucas was born to us 5/10/07 and was soon diagnosed with CHARGE. CHARGE syndrome is a recognizable (genetic) pattern of birth defects which occurs in about one in every 9-10,000 births worldwide. It is an extremely complex syndrome, involving extensive medical and physical difficulties that differ from child to child. Babies with CHARGE syndrome are often born with life-threatening birth defects, including complex heart defects and breathing problems. They spend many months in the hospital and undergo many surgeries and other treatments. Swallowing and breathing problems make life difficult even when they come home. The letters in CHARGE stand for: Coloboma of the eye, Heart defects, Atresia of the choanae, Retardation of growth and/or development, Genital and/or urinary abnormalities, and Ear abnormalities and deafness. Lucas's anomalies included with his case of CHARGE include minor heart defects of ASD and PDA, bilateral choanal atresia repaired at four days old, undescended testes repaired at seven months old, and ear abnormalities; also he has reflux and aspirated while feeding shortly after being born and thus had a G-tube and Nissen Fundoplication at five weeks old. Additionally he has PE tubes, very low muscle tone and facial palsy on his right side. Lucas was diagnosed with Primary Pulmonary Hypertension at 12 months old. He showed us how to shine through the rain as he lost his bravely fought battle and entered into Heaven on 10/02/08. He was our miracle on earth the 507 days we spent with him. For more information, visit chargesyndrome.org