Waiting........

After Bryce was born, we were all placed on the post par tum unit together. Misty had a separate room about 4 doors down from us. Bryce was doing beautifully with us. He was eating great and sleeping around 4-5 hours at a time in the evenings. Misty was recovering so fast, i have never seen anything like this with a c/section post op..Misty was walking around within 24 hours after delivery and no pain meds. Lord, i remember with both of my c/sections, i was on a morphine pump and in the hospital for 4d. Misty at first had decided she didn't want to hold or see the baby..

After he was here, i got a phone call from her asking if it would be alright to see Bryce and hold him for awhile. Now Misty knew me well enough that i was freaking out to some degree, because of fear of changing her mind. We were still in the 48 hour window of changing things, so yes i was a little anxious, OK alot anxious. So of course we said ok to Misty, i took Bryce to her and left her room and went back to ours with Blake. i started crying immediately with my mind running away with thoughts that were so panicking!!! Blake looked at me and said, "honey, God is in control, let it go". Slowly i did let go and things went very smoothly. Misty even came over i think it was the Saturday night, to our room. Blake bought us all pizza and we watched a movie together. It was very awesome. i wish you could have all seen Misty and i in the hospital bed together with Bryce b/t us. Two mothers loving on this baby boy at the same time. Misty and i were bonding on a level that i cant even put into words..it is a GOD thing. We respected one another so highly, it boggles my mind even today to write to you all about it. Misty said her goodbye and peace to Bryce officially on Saturday Night.

Sunday came and signing of the papers was to be done at 10:00am! So Blake took our notary and witness to Misty's room, while Bryce and i waited patiently in our room.

Next thing i know, here came Misty walking into my room only 15 or so minutes later...and she just wanted to say goodbye to me..

Y'all have to picture this, a 5.11' women total embracing me, a 5.2' woman and we started weeping together as friends, and mothers..This was one of the most precious and unforgettable times in my life. We said we loved one another and promised to stay in touch and never stop praying!!!

Shortly after that, we loaded up the truck and headed to Fort Worth, TX where were going to stay for the remainder of the paperwork process...5 more days

We were staying with some wonderful friends of ours! We received to official phone call to go home on Friday and that we had been cleared and everything went smooth!

We didn't go home until after church Sunday..Blake and i got a opportunity to share our story about Lucas, then Bryce and they let me sing a song about it all! it was wonderful!

Well there it all is everyone! Here we are 3 weeks old now and he is just perfect! Misty is doing great, we still talk from time to time...Pierce is the greatest big brother ever!

Blake and i are happier than we have ever been in our entire marriage. Anyone who knows me even a little bit, knows that i love to take risk and i love change..but i will tell you this about change these days...

I believe that Change can be so constant that we don't even feel it until you realize you ARE. also Change can move so slowly that you don't know if your life is better or worse until it simply IS. Or now i believe and have seen that Change can BLOW YOU AWAY all at once and change you in an instance.

Anyone of us are afraid of loosing our balance in life, especially when change is involved and mostly when LOVE has anything to do with it..but it is important to look around and remember that it is worth loosing your balance in loving again, b/c it makes you FIND a new balance you never had before!!!

I plan on writing a book very soon on this journey of ours. i would covet your prayers on that, because it IS going to happen!!

I want to thank each one of you personally for being our friends, our support and loving us all through these last 3 years. You are very much a part of our lives and the healing that has taken place, we will never stop thinking about it all. I will continue to write and blog every single day from now on until i feel it is time to put the pen down...There is still so much that has not been told....so move on with me guys and get ready for the greatest days we have ahead of us all.

THE BIG DAY!!!!!!!

We picked Misty up from home early Friday morning and headed to the hospital!! We got to our room together and there of coarse you know they hooked Misty up with IV's, and monitors and started prep work for the c/section. I will never forget when Misty showed us all her tummy. The night before, she was bored and decided to get a marker and draw a map on her tummy to show us and the doctors exactly where Bryce was! it was so stinkin funny, it made everyone laugh!! There was a few times it was just Misty and I in the room together, and we were just talking about our lives and this story. We were talking on fears again, and misty sort of started to break down with what she wanted to say...and it was the fear of having Bryce for us and something being wrong with him at birth! Because of what we had been through with Lucas at birth, thinking he was perfect and then him coming out with so many issues wrong, misty just didn't think she would recover from it if this happened again. i just balled my eyes out b/c of her selflessness once again, putting our feelings ahead of her own. just amazing.

So they wheeled misty into the delivery room, she got her epidural, and they gave me scrubs and i sat outside the room while they finished getting Misty stable and ready for delivery. I remember just sitting in that chair so nervous for her. I couldn't keep my legs still if i tried. Doctor and nurses kept coming through and would stop and say to me, "Are you M.K., are you mommy?" i said yes i am, and they were all so excited for us! Then it was time! so they called me into the room and i wanted to sit behind the sheeting, right by Misty...She was peacefully in thought and at rest, so i didn't disturb her at all; i just sat with anticipation and prayed for Misty, myself, Bryce, the whole staff.....that this would all be such an amazing experience and we would never ever forget it as long as we lived!! I closed my eyes trying to escape and imagine where Misty was in her mind and what she was thinking...she and i were so connected like that, it was scary! The doctors kept me updated in telling me that he was almost here and that it was going perfect so far. Then three of the nurses moved to the incubator and began prepping it more, so i knew he was here. the moment his head was free and out to breathe he cried, it was the most heavenly sound i ever heard, i can not explain what took place inside of me when i heard his cry...something like an impartation inside, the bond was instant!! When i knew he was here, i bent my head down on top of Misty's and kissed her forehead. I just left my face and mouth on top of her her head and my tears fell on her face, it was once again the most meaningful time in my life and in this journey. Misty had requested that i be the first to hold Bryce after birth, so they honored this. Bryce went to the incubator to be cleaned and they let me help them, and i cut the cord...i could barely hold the scissors cause all i wanted was to hold him, pull him close to me! He was so beautiful. We all turned around and looked at Misty and told her the he was doing great and perfect! So they handed him to me all wrapped up and we headed to the post par tum room where my hubby and best friend is. when i saw Blake, my knees started to buckle, the look on Blake's face was so pure and full of fulfillment! Joy and connection that we hadn't known in two years. He was ours and we were just thrilled to have him in our arms.

Misty was in recovery and doing incredible before we knew it! She is a machine at healing so fast and so positive!! Tomorrow begins the last 48 hours together. stay tuned you won't want to miss the end of this!!!!

HEADING FOR A BETTER LIFE

Day 4~ Year 2011' for us! Everyone is still doing great, our relationship with Misty and Bryce is growing stronger still. I have to tell you all something i am just remembering about this remarkable woman. It would be just a normal day like today, she would text me to tell me about Bryce and that he is moving alot and poking her ribs, or that he moved all night long..etc. THIS WAS EVERYDAY!!!

Ok back to the story, so i am going to move on into March....it is official! We are all nervous and ready for the big day to be here. I get a phone call from Misty as normal on her appointment day, and she tells me that the doctors want to do an amniocentesis! Their reason was that when women normally get a ultrasound at 19-20 weeks for finding out sex of the child and confirmation of due date, Misty went in around 23 weeks or so...and that is a long enough window that the beginning date and 23 week measurements and date could be construde, and that Bryce may not be as far along as we all think. So i start thinking cause i am a medical assistant as a OBGYN clinic...been in this field for a long time, and i have never heard of this before. ohh by the way, they were going to schedule the ANMIO the morning before the C-section and if lungs are fully mature then c-section the next morning! So i went into work and long story short, YES this is protocol if there is any doubt that dates can be off, plus this was an adoption, and an elective c-section. so it was a go now for the amnio on March 17th, then Bryce on March 18th!

Blake and i did NOT want Misty to do the amnio by herself, so we left Arkansas on Wed. March 16th..picked her up Thursday morning early and took her to the appt..The amnio went beautifully! then we had to hang around for another hour for observation for Misty and Bryce on the NST machine..

Misty and i were alone talking in a cozy little room, and the most peaceful breeze came in that room for the both of us. We were having one of our many last honest talks about where we are in the process. Misty was telling how she just wished with every fiber of her being that things had turned out differently for her w/the baby, the babies dad, her heartache for her son Evan, and wishing she had given him a voice in this decision.....just tears flowing down our faces together, realizing this was the greatest experience she and i had ever gone through and that we would be mothers and friends for life. I think Misty and i should write a book called "AWEKWARD MOMENTS" !! We have had our share of these. Well after what was already an exhausting morning and early afternoon, we took Misty home to rest and prepare for tomorrow, and we went to rest as well....stay tuned tomorrow morning for the greatest day and best parts of this journey yet guys! You dont want to miss it!!!!

A PRECIOUS GIFT

Misty, Blake and me started talking somewhere mid` September of 2010..Like i was telling you earlier, she and i would basically talk on a daily basis, mostly through text. Right off the bat Misty and i were already reading each other very well, even thru the simplest of phrases we could pick up on hints, fears, dislikes really anything. Anyone who has gone thru adoption will tell you that for two mothers to have such a connection with honesty and not hide any fears was very unique...Misty and i had no one being the mediator b/t our conversations, and while i am talking on this, i want you to know that this is exactly the way Misty wanted it..i had many reservations doing it this way at first and she knew that. Misty would always pick up on my doubts about her changing her mind and just flat out call me up on it..then simply tell me to breathe and relax, that she is NOT going to change her mind and that we ARE getting this baby. that we have no CHOICE!!! She always reaffirmed her commitment to us. She knew of all the horror stories of adoptions where birthmom's would change their mind, and that is why she wanted to go this alone with just us, and that we wouldnt be broke by the end of it all. Blake and i used an agency on our end, simply cause we had no idea how to navigate the fees for lawyers and all the paperwork...I will say that having done this adoption so privately with Misty was singley the greatest experience i have ever had. Misty called me every single doctors appt. and put me on speaker phone to hear her and the doctors discussions and for me to hear the heartbeat of Bryce', every time i got off that phone with her, i just sat in tears for how truly grateful i was for that moment.

Well Christmas rolled around, and we received a present from Misty one day. she had told me to be expecting it..but we were NOT to open it until Christmas. Much to our surprise was this beautiful "willow tree" design of a mother and father knelled together holding a newborn baby, and inside was a hand written note from Misty that read..." Mary, thank you very much for kindness and friendship. Thanking Blake and I both for taking this journey with her when we didn't have to."

And before we knew it we were in January 2011!!!!! But i will save the new year for tomorrow!

Love you all!!!!!!

Making a New Friend

After the initicial conversation b/t Misty and me, we began talking daily through texting just learning about one another..Something i will never forget about the first of things is Misty had known of our tragedy theses last two years b/c i expressed it in one of our first emails..i started directing her to our blog and she said to me that she didnt want to go to our blog untill she met us face to face..she didnt want to have a preset notion or opinion of it all. i found this answer so amazingly respectful. So Misty invited us to come to her first OB visit arond 8 weeks in Round Rock, TX. So we packed up for that weekend and headed down. I remember the closer we got to pick Misty up from her house, the more nervous i got! The anticipation was of the charts!! We picked her up and headed to the appointment..Misty is so smart, i remember being in the front seat turned around listening to her and thinking, i have never been so intimidated in my life. She remembers anything she learns, or reads and is well adversed on the world and the problems in it..It made for wonderful conversations the whole time. So we got there and she invited me to go back with her to see the doctor. and the visit went just perfect. After that, we spent more time the afternoon eating and talking again; and headed home to Arkansas. As soon as we dropped Misty off at her house and left for home, i dont think blake or i said one word for miles it seemed. Then i look over at Blake and he was so speechless and moved, i was crying my eyes out..Misty had become such a part of our hearts already, she let us in so easily and love was already being done in our hearts for this precious woman. Something i want to say here before i close for today is this: All of us have searched for signs, for God to show us the right way, or confirmation from friends and family that you are making the right choice. Well i will tell you that in the worlds eyes, this path with Misty we were on was stacked against us b/c it was unusual to bond this well and easily with the birthmom, to have no one navigate our conversations and just trust one another with our hearts...but it was Gods plan from the moment Misty and I were born, to introduce us and let us walk this together. We DID pray for a sign, and all the rest to make sure this was right, you know Misty and our family had already been hurt in the worst ways, we had lost our son..and misty had lost Evan her 6 year old son temporarily and was fighting to get him back, so all of us were "raw" and "vulnerable" God knew we needed one another, and i believe that more everyday we still breathe! Cant wait to tell you whats next......untill then

A New Road

Day 1~ How many of us have experienced first hand, known someone, or simply read about stories that change you forever? Stories as seen on "extreme homemakeover" and such. Once you have, it connects us all in a profound way even if it is through tragedy or comedy; life and death. It also seems to me that you are merely exsisting in this universe, going through the motions, family, work, school, home etc., then we all get up the next day to do it all over again right? This world is so unpredictable whether you believe we derived from exsistance of things before us, or we believe that a sovereign God formed us from the beginning of time which is called sovereignty. Either way we are all born, we grow up, find meaning and purpose and start to experience the throws of LIFE! Well hopefully we have all walked through and had someone else's "random" acts of Kindness in our lives because there is one thing that all human beings can agree on and it is the definition and feeling of the word "HOPE"! Today on Day 1~ this is how our New Road begins, with hope. THIS THING CALLED TWITTER! If you know about twitter, then we all follow someone else and keep up with current events and such, even a great way to meet knew people. As life would have it for us, a friend of ours follows a certain ministry out of Texas thru twitter; one day there was a tweet sent out talking of a young woman who was early pregnant and that we all need to pray she wont abort this baby but she will consider adoption. So our friend emailed this ministry and spoke to them of blake and i and what we had been through. With in a 24-36 hour window..our history got to our birthmom, and she contacted us through email. She chose us and we were so honored! tomorrow i will tell you how this beautiful friendship with our birthmom Misty begins.

Settling In!!

So we have made it home safe and sound from Texas! First we want to say thank you to everyone who held our hand through this adoption and gave your love, support, and prayers. Blake and i in the next coming days, will try to begin telling you this amazing journey we have had. Bryce is now two weeks and 3days! He is weighing in now at 8lbs. and 20inches long. He has received and perfect first visit and our pediatrician's office as well! Bryce is also sleeping around 5-6 hours at a time in the overnight hours..just a perfect baby and we are so honored to be his parents!! Pierce has taken his big brother role in full swing. If Bryce is remotely upset, here he comes to his rescue whether it be putting a passy in his mouth, or coaching mommy on how to help calm him down. So precious!! We want everyone to tune in starting tomorrow on our blogging, because our story will begin for you all! For today, please take time and enjoy looking at our family and Mr. Bryce Samuel Weindorf!