Saturday, July 25, 2009

Letter's of Faith



Sorry it has been a bit since my last post..The race of life is very enduring!Two things i want to write, share about is..Just two evenings ago i was in our closet looking thru some files, documents i was searching for in a little safe we have for important things..The phrase taking your breath away LITERALLY applies here. i did find what we needed as well as on the very bottom of the stack...Letters written by our closest family and the dvd we had put together that we played for lucas' funeral. Haven't seen it since, AS WELL AS the cd that he slept to every single night. So i look..i stare..dare i touch it you know, as if it were going to break or bite me..The front cover of his dvd was covered in a montage of lucas' pics throughout..as i sweep my hand across it and flooding memories leap into my chest..i calmly cry, then looke past it down deeper into the box and found two letters. one written by blake's dasd to us after Lucas passed and one that he included that was written by blake's grandmother to his grandfather concerning Faith. i can never do them justice by telling you in my way, so blake and i have decided to place it here for all to read..someone WILL get great release and benefit from it. So i am sobbing at the freedom these this letter gave me thursday night sitting in the floor of my closet. Holding on, loving and feeling again his pure love. Lucas' obituary was there as well..enough said about that right?

The second thing is that pierce will start school again tues, wed, thurs in august..Was praying of going back into the medical of obgyn and landing a job after being out of work so long, Well God answered our prayer and i start monday at the very place and doctor that delivered me, as well as my two boys!!! A wonderful peaceful place. I believe it will be healing to help others again, to be around babies and HOPE others bring in. And maybe i can help heal a life that hurts deeply..I hope life and this letter finds you all well, i pray whatever you believe..that ur waters are being stirred and ur wellsprings of life are alive and kicking! For those of you hanging onto your frilled and raveled end of the rope...i pray for clarity of mind, and hand to squeeze and a breath of fresh air to help change your circumstance.. Let these two letters be of service to you. take it in!! love

2 comments:

Anna Bowman said...

amazing letter.... timely reading it

Catherine said...

Such beautiful words, such an incredible insight into your innermost thoughts.


Lucas was born to us 5/10/07 and was soon diagnosed with CHARGE. CHARGE syndrome is a recognizable (genetic) pattern of birth defects which occurs in about one in every 9-10,000 births worldwide. It is an extremely complex syndrome, involving extensive medical and physical difficulties that differ from child to child. Babies with CHARGE syndrome are often born with life-threatening birth defects, including complex heart defects and breathing problems. They spend many months in the hospital and undergo many surgeries and other treatments. Swallowing and breathing problems make life difficult even when they come home. The letters in CHARGE stand for: Coloboma of the eye, Heart defects, Atresia of the choanae, Retardation of growth and/or development, Genital and/or urinary abnormalities, and Ear abnormalities and deafness. Lucas's anomalies included with his case of CHARGE include minor heart defects of ASD and PDA, bilateral choanal atresia repaired at four days old, undescended testes repaired at seven months old, and ear abnormalities; also he has reflux and aspirated while feeding shortly after being born and thus had a G-tube and Nissen Fundoplication at five weeks old. Additionally he has PE tubes, very low muscle tone and facial palsy on his right side. Lucas was diagnosed with Primary Pulmonary Hypertension at 12 months old. He showed us how to shine through the rain as he lost his bravely fought battle and entered into Heaven on 10/02/08. He was our miracle on earth the 507 days we spent with him. For more information, visit chargesyndrome.org