Saturday, January 24, 2009

Just for Today

Just for Today by Vicky Tushingham

Just For Today Just for today, I will try to live through the next 24 hours and not expect to get over my child's death, but instead learn to live with it just one day at a time.

Just for today, I will remember my child's life, not his death , and bask in the comfort of all those treasured days and moments we shared.

Just for today, I will forgive all the family and friends who didn't help or comfort me the way I needed them to. They truly did not know how.

Just for today, I will smile no matter how much I hurt on the inside, for maybe if I smile a little, my heart will soften and I will begin to heal.

Just for today, I will reach out to comfort a relative or friend of my child, for they are hurting too, and perhaps we can comfort each other.

Just for today, I will free myself from my self inflicted burden of guilt, for deep in my heart I know if there was anything I could have done to save my child from death, I would have done it.

Just for today, I will honor my child's memory by doing something with another child because I know that would have made my own child proud.

Just for today, I will offer my hand in friendship to another bereaved parent, for I do know how they feel.

Just for today, when my heart feels like breaking, I will stop and remember that grief is the price we pay for loving, and the only reason I hurt is because I had the privilege of loving so much.

Just for today, I will not compare myself with others. I am fortunate to be who I am and to have had my child for as long as I did.

Just for today, I will accept that I did not die when my child died. My life did go on and I am the only one who can make that life worthwhile once more.

`By Vicky Tushingham from Alive Alone

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Lucas was born to us 5/10/07 and was soon diagnosed with CHARGE. CHARGE syndrome is a recognizable (genetic) pattern of birth defects which occurs in about one in every 9-10,000 births worldwide. It is an extremely complex syndrome, involving extensive medical and physical difficulties that differ from child to child. Babies with CHARGE syndrome are often born with life-threatening birth defects, including complex heart defects and breathing problems. They spend many months in the hospital and undergo many surgeries and other treatments. Swallowing and breathing problems make life difficult even when they come home. The letters in CHARGE stand for: Coloboma of the eye, Heart defects, Atresia of the choanae, Retardation of growth and/or development, Genital and/or urinary abnormalities, and Ear abnormalities and deafness. Lucas's anomalies included with his case of CHARGE include minor heart defects of ASD and PDA, bilateral choanal atresia repaired at four days old, undescended testes repaired at seven months old, and ear abnormalities; also he has reflux and aspirated while feeding shortly after being born and thus had a G-tube and Nissen Fundoplication at five weeks old. Additionally he has PE tubes, very low muscle tone and facial palsy on his right side. Lucas was diagnosed with Primary Pulmonary Hypertension at 12 months old. He showed us how to shine through the rain as he lost his bravely fought battle and entered into Heaven on 10/02/08. He was our miracle on earth the 507 days we spent with him. For more information, visit chargesyndrome.org